My Dad

My dad always had the answers to everything.

When I was young he taught me to read. I asked him how to pronounce different words and what they meant.

He was very good with words. I used to ask him to do work puzzles for me whenever I couldn’t figure them out. He could solve crosswords in two minutes.

Before phones had games, he would grab two newspapers when riding the Skytrain to work and finish both crosswords and sudokus before we even reached the bridge. I would only have two words down.

He was very good with words. When I was 8 he brought me to a game store to learn to play with the Pokemon cards I would collect. I was too scared to talk to anyone but he helped me through it. He talked to all the players and the store owner and they all helped us. They lent us cards and taught us how to play.

For a while, my dad was more into Pokemon cards than I was. He would obsessively comb through all the cards we had and think of different strategies. There were days he would come home from work to excitedly build a new deck and I would help him find all the cards. This was like a new kind of puzzle.

When I started playing more competitively, he would practice with me every day – even when he was tired. Some days he would fall asleep mid-game and I’d have to wake him to start his turn.

When I made the finals in my first big tournament, my dad had battled his way into the semi-finals in the older age group but was so excited for me that he forfeited so he could watch me play.

When playing the game, you don’t have access to outside information so I couldn’t ask my dad for help if I got stuck and didn’t know what to do. But I knew that I could rely on myself and everything that he taught me leading up to that moment. And I won.

From that point on, we were all in. We practiced all the time and that year I managed to qualify and earn a free trip to the World Championships in Florida.

Before I knew it, we were constantly traveling to multiple Regionals per year and he was scheduling vacation days around the annual World Championships. It paid off and I was able to achieve some very impressive results. But, while I was so focused on the competitive aspect of the game, I didn’t even realize the community that my dad was able to help foster around me.

He offered to drive my friends to tournaments – all the way to Oregon! He organized group play testing sessions and post-tournament dinners. While I was always focused on competing with the best, my dad was always the first to jump in and help the newcomers at league to teach them how to play, help make their decks better, and give them cards. He taught me the importance of creating a welcoming community and that kindness always comes back around.

By the time he stopped playing in 2016 after I started going to University, I realized how expansive my network of friends was just from playing Pokemon. None of it would have been possible without every single little push that my dad gave me. Pushing me to practice, pushing me to talk to more people, and pushing me to help newcomers.

And when I started traveling to tournaments, this time with friends, he was always messaging me to check in and be the first to congratulate me for a good result or help cheer me up after a bad result.

Even when he was on a cruise ship in Alaska for the weekend, the first thing he would rush to do at port is find an internet connection so he could check in on how I was doing.

He suddenly passed away just days before I was to leave for Hawaii to compete in the World Championships. He was with me for the entire year cheering me on just as he had been since I was 9, but now, he isn’t.

I debated canceling my trip but, I knew that he was looking forward to it just as much as I was. So, I went. Walking the halls of the convention center and seeing all the fanfare reminded me of him and the first time we went to Worlds those 16 years ago. Feeling overwhelmed and incredibly disheartened, I played some of the most difficult games I’ve ever had to play. I wanted to put out a performance that would make him proud and I tried my very best. I finished just one win shy of advancing to the second day of competition. Still, by the end of it I was able to actually have some fun.

My dad has done so much for me. Not only has he helped bring me into a community of wonderful people and great friends, he has also taught me countless things about what it means to be a wonderful person (and a great friend). His spirit lives on through all of the lives that he has impacted and it sometimes feels like he is still here. He’s given me hope when I ran out and he gave me the freedom to grow and find my way in the world. He is one of the best fathers that anyone could have ever asked for and I am so grateful for everything that he has done. I only wish that I could show him how grateful I am.

Rest in peace, we love you.